Are these poems good? can you give me some more ideas for some new ones?
i wrote these poems and i want to know if you think they’re good. also, i need another idea for a poem to write. if you have any ideas, please share.
once upon a time………….
not now, never been, never could, never end,
a day wasted, running till then,
gone today, back again,
never remember, never known,
could have been, couldn’t be, never was,
always will be, always ending,
till tomorrow’s today, and today’s yesterday,
once again, it has never been
remembering a time once upon us,
a figment of imagination in us,
you can remember times before life of yourself,
with one thought you remember, fading now , and it never was,
its gone now, never was,
was it, or was it not
remembering, or thought
today’s tomorrow is always a day away, and yesterday’s today,
one day before wave, tide of crashing,
over the time, once upon a time………………..
they say the best things in life are unseen,
which is why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream,
a kiss, a time we share with those we love, a first, a second, a third,
all the same passion, the best thing in life, eyes closed, unseen……
a cry, impossible for eyes to be open, a time to let all your emotions free,
the best thing in life, unseen………
a dream, sometimes good, sometimes bad, always relaxing, never understood,
your eyes always closed, pleasantness arises,
the best thing in life, unseen…..
They were both good but the second one was more poweful and stuck in my mind mostly because its actually true. I like your style in the first one. Its very intersting if you read it carefully. It expresses alot. Really good. If you write anymore, please email to me because im really intersted in hearing more of your work.
An idea for another poem is talking about death in some shape or form. I think you would be able to handle that topic beautifully.
February 8th, 2010 at 3:31 am
The first one gave me a bit of a headache; it’s like a massive jumble of conundrums.
I really like the second one.
References :
I’m a writer too, but I haven’t gotten anything published yet.
February 8th, 2010 at 4:15 am
I like both of them, but my only thing is I’ve heard a quote about something like ‘the best things are unseen, like when we kiss, cry, and dream’ before. I’m pretty sure I have.
References :
February 8th, 2010 at 4:29 am
They were both good but the second one was more poweful and stuck in my mind mostly because its actually true. I like your style in the first one. Its very intersting if you read it carefully. It expresses alot. Really good. If you write anymore, please email to me because im really intersted in hearing more of your work.
An idea for another poem is talking about death in some shape or form. I think you would be able to handle that topic beautifully.
References :