In a married life or a relationship,is it necessary that everything must be expressed to Your partner?
I know we express many things to our partner to know each other but there might be some feelings and opinions etc etc. or even your unseen attitude by your partner . that are unexpressed.Is it good to keep some secrets in your life ?people ,please do share thank you.
Well there’s two ways of thinking about this…One: You should be able to tell someone your in a relationship with anything and everything about yourself without fear of being judged or being rejected. Two: You don’t have to tell your significant other everything about yourself. There are things that are personal and they are all yours. And just because you don’t tell them doesn’t mean you’re not completely committed to them.
I suppose it’s mostly a personal decision. Some people are the kind who have to get things off their chests. They have to talk about it, analyze it. Where others internalize it and deal with it their own way.
All in all I think it’s perfectly OK to have a secret or two. Unless it’s something that could be deemed important to the relationship.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:23 am
yeah, I wanna smack him right now, and don’t do it for the sake of peace
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January 29th, 2010 at 9:33 am
It’s good to keep many things to yourself. Like what I think of his table manners.
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January 29th, 2010 at 10:03 am
It is important to be genuine and share opinions, hopes, dreams etc. but you need to save something for yourself. You have to enjoy some privacy and special thoughts of your own. My husband and friends don’t know everything about me and I intend to keep it that way. I find that I have many pieces and there is enough for everyone.
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January 29th, 2010 at 10:34 am
keep it to yourself mate, don’t say anything, suppress any thoughts you may have, less is more
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January 29th, 2010 at 11:05 am
If there’s a big problem, like a partner leaving the baby in the bathtub unattended, that’s something to bring up.
However, expressing your issues with the small stuff (his dirty socks, her thousand pieces of makeup) just causes unnecessary arguments. People who love each other should just let stuff like that go.
EDIT: Forgot to mention–if you have something good to express, then do it. A dream, an idea, a sweet sentiment–never keep that to yourself.
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January 29th, 2010 at 11:54 am
I opened this with trepidation, thinking all the other answers would say, "Tell them everything that bothers you! Communication is key!" and was pleasantly surprised to see otherwise.
If your partner flirts with other people, walks around nude in the house with guests home, or behaves extremely inappropriately, yes, say something. We’re not animals.
But if you are annoyed with petty things, like the music they play, hogging the tv, or leaving their dishes all over the living room, all that’s needed is a, "Please put your dishes away/My show is on in thirty minutes/Can I get you to turn that down for an hour or two so I can concentrate on ______"
No need for an in depth conversation on every little thing. Learning to live with each other and accept each other’s faults is part of marriage, and it’s not quick.
As my grandmother told one man who was hitting on her after my grandfather passed, "It took me twenty-five years to train my last husband, and I’ll be damned if I’m doing that again!"
Be patient with each other.
To love your spouse is a choice. Not just a fuzzy feeling.
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January 29th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
I found for the best relationship, share all your feelings and thoughts. With my husband it is what has made our marriage so strong.
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January 29th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
If you are going to lie about one thing how many others will you have to lie about. You express your feelings about everything and if one gets mad that is okay, because the other may get mad about something else. If you love one another you should be able to tell them everything and anything in order to have a great relationship. That is why you have good conversations before you tie the knot and if you can’t handle it then then you don’t get married.
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January 29th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Well there’s two ways of thinking about this…One: You should be able to tell someone your in a relationship with anything and everything about yourself without fear of being judged or being rejected. Two: You don’t have to tell your significant other everything about yourself. There are things that are personal and they are all yours. And just because you don’t tell them doesn’t mean you’re not completely committed to them.
I suppose it’s mostly a personal decision. Some people are the kind who have to get things off their chests. They have to talk about it, analyze it. Where others internalize it and deal with it their own way.
All in all I think it’s perfectly OK to have a secret or two. Unless it’s something that could be deemed important to the relationship.
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January 29th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
yea its good to keep things to yourself. i should probably keep more things to myself. i have a problem with that
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